I was six years old, and our family was living in a low-cost housing development in central California—a group of duplexes arranged in a circle around a grassy area where the kids played. I remember that our neighbors included a gang of older boys (they would have been between seven and ten years old). They looked mean and scary. I avoided them.
One afternoon I noticed this group of boys huddled in the common yard. They were looking down at something, laughing and pushing. I feared they might be tormenting some animal, so I cautiously approached. One of the boys moved and I discovered that the object there in the middle was my little brother Tommy, who was lying on the ground and crying. My fear instantly changed to fury, and I grabbed a board that just happened to be nearby and charged the group, yelling and swinging my weapon.
The boys reacted almost as quickly as I had and fled the scene. I think I hit some of them before they got away, but the battle field cleared in a remarkably short time. I helped Tommy to his feet and burst into tears myself. Then we both ran for the safety of our house. I don’t even remember my mother’s reaction.
I haven’t thought about this for years, but the memory is definitely vivid. I learned a few things that day. I learned that even though I was small, skinny, and female, I had what it takes to confront obstacles larger and stronger and more numerous than me. I also learned that violence works.
Obviously this requires deeper reflection. Thanks to the grace of God, I did not develop the violent side of my nature as I grew up. I am an active peacemaker today by choice. But I still need to confront the seeds of violence that are part of my nature. (That’s probably why the memory is so vivid.) They spring up every once in a while, for example, in the presence of injustice. Unfortunately, this is usually some violation of my own rights, rather than a reaction to the plight of the poor or oppressed. I feel concern for the latter, but rarely fury. I’ve learned to control the outward manifestations of my inner violence, but I have to admit its presence.
I have lots of questions: Did I do the right thing in rescuing Tommy in that way? (Something in me likes this memory.) Are there more sophisticated, “adult” ways that I still attack problems by swinging a big stick?
Dear Lord, give understanding. Have mercy. Show me the paths of peace.
Contributed by Nancy Thomas, North Valley Friends
5 Comments
Elizabeth Todd
Thank you, Nancy. You provoke us to thought – and prayer.
Celesta
Two things. I think what you learned is STRENGTH works. They knew you COULD hurt them with the board. Swinging it told them you WOULD if they didn’t stop.
Remember Jesus in the temple, what you experienced was righteous indignation and you responded correctly in defense of your brother in my opinion.
Nancy
Thanks, Celesta, but I still wonder. Is this what our country does when they (we?) send in their weapons in situations where the leaders are bullying the little people? How do we stop bullies, in the play ground and around the world?
Celesta
Having visited Israel, Egypt and Jordan last fall, I have a conflicted view of this.
I think America needs to demonstrate strength and the will power to keep the peace, but I think arming either side is dangerous. When you have to buy friends, they are not real friends or allies. Peacekeeping forces on the ground is perhaps the best answer. The UN needs to find a way to get around impasses brought by Russia and China.
I think we need to be more careful about who we support and how. We arrived in Egypt the day after 26 Christian were martyred when they demonstrated (peacefully–unarmed). Muslims joined the demonstration to support the Christians. The military came in and gunned the demonstrators down.
We attended a Bible study the next night where family members brought blood stained clothing and pleaded with the Coptic Pope Shenoda (since deceased) to take their cause to the government as he sat on something similar to our cabinet. He promised he would. I have never been more afraid in my life–the church was packed and emotions ran very high. I was sure the military would enter the church and take us all out with TV cameras filming.
Our Christian guide in Alexandria (a woman) said she thought she was the only one in Egypt who thought they were better off with Mubarak, but I think she was right to say the new situation was worse with the military running the show.
We also had an eye opening education in Jerusalem where a young Jewish woman addressed our group about discrimination against the Palestinians in Jerusalem. She proceeded to guide us on a tour of both sections of Jerusalem demonstrating her points. Not a clear answer there but blind support of the Israelis is not the answer. We met Arab Palestinian Christians who have lost property their families have held since Jesus was on earth. They are neither terrorists or angry, just wanting justice.
Nancy
Celesta, Your response and experience demonstrate how complex this all is. The phrase “peacekeeping force” is interesting, bringing together peace and force. Perhaps this is strength exercised in humility. Is that possible between nations? Thank you for this contribution.