Who Deserves Forgiveness?
July 1, 2009.
.
.
Howard Macy, husband to Margie and both a father and grandfather, attends Newberg Friends Church and is part of the religion department at George Fox University. He has several books published by Barclay Press..
.
Some jerks just don’t deserve to be shown any love and respect. Or forgiveness. They’ve messed up so badly or so often, they’ve hurt so many or acted so brazenly that they’ve forfeited their right to forgiveness.
Not that forgiveness is a right. We can’t demand it, deserve it, earn it, or coerce it. It can only be given. Jesus, followed by Paul, insisted that, despite all the reasons not to, we must forgive, because God has already generously forgiven us, (See Matthew 18:21-35; Ephesians 4:31-32; Colossians 3:13).
Forgiving someone does not excuse or trivialize real hurt or damage that has been done. It just refuses to build a wall, to create separation, to tend a grudge, and it does this whether or not the offender asks for or even wants forgiveness. Sometimes it’s hard. In one of the hardest occasions for me, I could sincerely mouth words of forgiveness long before love and the release of bitterness took root in my heart.
An important path forward is to recognize that God’s love and forgiveness are freely given to us in spite of our human frailty. Psalm 103 reminds us that God doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve, but in compassion remembers how weak we are, that we are only dust, (Psalm 103:8-18). In a similar spirit, Paul urges, “Make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you,” (Colossians 3:13 NLT). A lot of times we’re mad because other people fail to be as responsible, loving, and smart as we’d like to be (or, in some cases, think we are). But reality is that we humans are bumbling along with a frustrating mix of great powers and ordinary klutziness. God treats our frailty with compassion, and invites us to do the same. “Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you,” (Ephesians 4:32 NLT).
.
Queries:
- How have you experienced forgiveness in a way that changed your ability to forgive others?
- In what ways do you seek God’s help when forgiveness for others does not come easily to you?
- Is there an individual or a group that God is speaking to you about, asking you to forgive?
Please feel free to share your thoughts as comments below. It will enhance our discussion!
.
.
Here is a question that has been bothering me. Quakers believe there is a light in everybody – that there is a little bit of God in everyone. (That is my understanding.) Your article on forgiveness above is very wonderful – it demonstrates that both God and Jesus were very forgiving. Then, I don’t get why the God’s Kingdom section of the beliefs of the NWYM would write,
“The world will then be judged rightously by Jesus Christ and there will come everlasting punishment for the finally unrepentant wicked and everlasting blessedness for the rightous.”
Don’t you think this statement contradicts many beliefs of the early Quakers?
Personally, I have difficulty believing that God, who is love, would ever do anything like that. And, I don’t know how people could love such a God.