Northwest Yearly Meeting of Friends (Quakers)

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“Are you at peace with one another?”

It is not uncommon for elders in some Mennonite fellowships to put this soul-rattling question before the congregation in the weeks leading up to the celebration of a communion service. Behind this query is the profound conviction that Jesus was and is serious when he said:

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to that person; then come and offer your gift (Matthew 5:23-24).

How, after all, can we really speak of fellowship, reconciliation and intimacy with Christ when we are at odds with other members of his Body? How can we talk with integrity about sharing in Jesus’ body and blood when there are barriers within the community of Christ?

I’ve often thought that the discipline of challenging the community with this question is even more necessary in Friends fellowships, since we do not celebrate our communion with the physical reminders of bread and wine. For a group who claims to live in constant communion with the Living Christ and believes that same Presence binds us together in peace-how much more do we need a discipline that calls us to integrity and obedience?

Having grown up in a world and home that was full of conflict, I can’t describe how stunning the notion of confession and forgiveness, which leads to reconciliation, was to me as a new Christian. Rather than entering into life in the church with the assumption that everything would be perfect, friendly, and conflict-free, I had a more realistic sense of it all. After all, I had read the New Testament…and saw just how hard and how deeply the brothers and the sisters had to strain, and bend and labor together to live in the love of God with each other.

And yet, they did so, continuing to submit to each other. They did so patiently learning to yield to Jesus in order to find a unity that transcended their diversity. Today’s church (on our best days), with faithful love, courage to speak the Truth, and a splash of needed humility, is able to live in and live out the peace of Christ.

Frankly, I find this to be perhaps the greatest miracle of all-that God through Christ is powerful enough to transform otherwise selfish, unforgiving, callous people into brothers and sisters who sacrificially love one another! Supernatural signs and wonders like healing and tongues may grab our attention, but the grace to confess, forgive and restore is a more powerful act and a more reliable sign that God is truly among us!

Having said all that, I will also say how surprising it often is to see how readily we turn a blind-eye to conflicts within our local churches. Some conflicts simmer under the surface of the seemingly still water of the fellowship but people both feel the tension and are able to name the source. In other Meetings, conflict roils like a water pot that has been left unattended. In either case, the unaddressed conflicts harm the spirit of fellowship and sharing in the Body. It hinders the spirit of freedom and communion in worship. And, it dims the light of our witness in the community that watches and wonders whether these Christians are for real or not.

As important as it is for us to share the gospel with our neighbors, demonstrate compassion, and work for peace and justice in our world, it is equally important that we live in genuine harmony with one another. This means being willing to confess my wrongs to others. It means forgiving those who have harmed me-just as I have been forgiven by God. It means taking responsibility for my thoughts, feelings and actions-even in the stress of a conflict-rather than justifying my behavior because I have been hurt. It means doing the hard task of working through conflict rather than ignoring it, hoping to just get over it or walking away.

So, as a member of your local church, are you at peace with the brothers and sisters to whom you are called?

You pastors, elders and other leaders, do you have the courage to call people to reconciliation? Is part of your care for the spiritual health of your church seen in a willingness to address relationships that are broken or harmful?

Do all of us seek to build others up rather than tear them down or apart? Are the words we use edifying? Do we expect and believe the best of others rather than something much less?

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Queries:

• As a member of your local church, are you at peace with the brothers and sisters to whom you are called?
• You pastors, elders and other leaders, do you have the courage to call people to reconciliation? Is part of your care for the spiritual health of your church seen in a willingness to address relationships that are broken or harmful?
• Do all of us seek to build others up rather than tear them down or apart? Are the words we use edifying? Do we expect and believe the best of others rather than something much less?

Please feel free to share your thoughts as comments below. It will enhance our discussion!

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