Northwest Yearly Meeting of Friends (Quakers)

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Once upon a real time, in a real town, at a real cross, an extremely real man, and Son of God gave his vitally real blood to pay a huge, real price for heavy real sins you and I have or will commit in our precious real lifetimes. That is grace.

It’s by the grace of God, and out of His grace, that forgiveness can be an intentional, and sometimes automatic, response. It is only by His grace. His grace. His.

Once upon a very real night in my adult life, I embarked, unknowingly, on a journey of grace. My bags for this trip had been packed a long time ago when, as a kid, I gave my life into Christ’s hands and He extended His sweet grace to me. So, bags in hand, I began my trip.

On this very real snowy, cold night in 2003, my three children, husband and I were traveling from Portland, Oregon, to our home in Tillamook, Oregon, across the windy Coastal Mountain Range. As we descended the summit, and began rounding a corner, we were struck head-on by a large pick-up truck which was in our lane of traffic. There were many physical and emotional injuries sustained and my best friend and husband, Craig, was killed. The truck had been driven by a man who had chosen to be in control of his rig after drinking too much alcohol.

There were many choices made that night. Some were very bad choices, and these choices dealt with real lives. Real people. People God loves deeply. This man thought he was in control. He wasn’t. God was in control of extending grace to him because God loves him. I also had choices to make that night. I could keep grace to myself, or extend it to the man driving the truck that killed Craig. I began to realize the decision

to forgive this man–to extend grace–was made when my bags were packed for the journey. Christ had come into my heart to forgive me — to extend grace to me. Upon receiving that grace, I am compelled to keep that gift alive by extending it, as often as Christ compels me and gives me opportunity.

I made the decision to forgive this man but it was Christ who compelled me. I’m becoming aware that, as an embracer of the Truth (that Christ extended His awesome grace to me) I want to choose to extend His grace to others — believers or non-believers. How can I, knowing how much that grace means to me, not hold out that same gift? How can I pull back and hog life-giving, guilt-releasing grace and forgiveness from someone else God dearly loves?

My journey, of course, continues. Forgiveness and grace are not always automatic because I am human. I am working on another area of forgiveness right now that I have been battling with for about two years. Why this incident of hurt isn’t as easy to forgive I don’t know. But, I am having to be very intentional about extending grace and forgiveness here. In this case, it is a continual act of the will; a matter of obedience; a discipline. I  have to remind myself of God’s grace to me, what that means, and how that can affect my relationships in this current situation.

Extending grace and forgiveness to non-believers who may harm us (whether unintentionally or purposefully) is being “Valiant for truth upon the earth” (George Fox). Not only is this carrying out God’s directions to us as believers, but it is swinging open a gate which someone might choose to walk through and thereby come face to face with Christ.

The extension of grace to fellow Christians is also a spiritual investment of time and energy — not for my benefit only, but one for the body of Christ. If I can be di1igent in upholding others’ reputations as believers in Christ, and am intentional in extending grace to them, I am showing that I love them and care about the impact they make on others, and the contributions they give to the body of Christ. They are a part of Christ, therefore they are a part of me.

Being careful of the reputation of others can carry a strong message of love. It can proclaim in silent commitment, “let me propel you toward grace – toward great things — toward God. Let me hold in trust your treasures, your reputation, your weaknesses and your strengths. Let me encourage you in Christ because God loves you and I love you.” This kind of love, this choice, creates strong tapestries of relationship. While it requires the constant discipline of looking towards Christ, not ourselves, it weaves into our life fabric a beautiful pattern of trust and support and equips us to extend even more grace to others.

Oh how much God loves us! He gave us these gifts of love, grace, forgiveness and reconciliation to bring about healing to our wounded lives. Praise Him!

In his book, Let Me Grieve But Not Forever, Verdell Davis (p. 75) says: “I find it very hard to let myself take in this kind of 1ove. Yet over and over God is saying to us, in more ways than we can count,  ’I rea11y do love you.’ Nothing could be more important to us to grasp or for us to tel1 one another. And nothing is more critica1 to the perspective we bring to our reading of all of scripture than to believe that God really loves us.”

When we have deep emotional issues, we can feel ugly and respond in ugly ways. We can hurt each other on purpose, or unintentionally. If we are the one who is wounded by this ugliness, it’s only through God’s eyes of grace that we can see past the wounding in ourselves, and past the ugliness done to us, to the tender heart of the offender. The need for grace has created the ugliness. The giver of grace is Christ. The tool the giver can use (if we make ourselves available)is us. Wow!…Wow!! We can only be available if our eyes are on Christ and not ourselves. For grace is only ours to give if we experience it first hand from Christ.

The focus cannot be on me. The awareness of who extended grace to me; where that grace originates, is key to embracing and extending love and grace to others – both fellow and future believers. When not, if differences arise, I have a choice. I have the control to respond or not to respond, to respond grudgingly or promptly, to choose a spirit of forgiveness and understanding or one of judgment and anger. What about those to whom we extend forgiveness and grace, and they appear to trample our gift as worthless offering? I believe the act of extending grace opens up that gate even then — for future grace to enter.

Along with deliberate choices we make in life that determine our paths, there are many negative things in life that happen to us that are out of our control. There are many hurtful things done to us for which our permission was not sought. There are also many positive paths our lives take for which we cannot take credit, and many

beautiful, uplifting things others do for us for which our permission was not sought. We are goal oriented, task-driven, controlling people. We like to determine upon which path our feet trod. We want to have experiences in life that feel good, elevate us or affirm who we are as people.

God has reached deep down into my heart to heal me — to hold and comfort me when my nerves are shredded and disconnected from my mind; when my body rushes to react and respond to circumstances out of my control. Because I am a being who often reacts negatively out of a deep sense of hurt, injury or sadness, I recognize that same response in others. This causes me to offer grace to others because it has been offered to me.

I want to be so completely immersed in God’s grace that HIS grace becomes my first response to others. In order to love and respect other followers of Christ, and be patient and considerate in my personal interactions, my focus must remain on Christ. The awareness of who extended grace to me and where that grace originates, is key to embracing and extending love and grace to others — both fellow and future believers.

I was able to write a couple of letters to the man who drove the truck that killed my husband. In one of them I wrote: “I’ve been asking God to passionately pursue you with His love because He is worth having a relationship with.” This is how I want to look at grace and forgiveness. By seeing it through the eyes of Christ, I am better able to keep my focus on the important matter; leaving the gate wide open for someone else to journey into Christ’s amazing grace.

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Queries:

• How has God extended grace in your life?
  
• Where is God challenging you to offer grace to someone else? To guard their reputation or proclaim forgiveness?
  

Please feel free to share your thoughts as comments below. It will enhance our discussion!

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